The Comparison Game – How to Make it Work For You

You’ve probably heard the quote, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” It is often attributed to Theodore Roosevelt and is indeed very wise. When you are constantly comparing what you have to that which others have: whether that be beauty, brains, or possessions, you may find yourself falling short and ultimately feeling bad about yourself and your life. Without somebody or something to compare your life to, you would most likely be happier and more content.

In today’s world, however, we have a thing called SOCIAL MEDIA, which makes “not comparing yourself to others” practically impossible.

We all know better. We’ve heard it a million times: don’t worry about what everybody else is doing. Easier said than done, am I right? 🤔

We seem to see everything that everybody is doing – all the time. Just a quick scroll of your social media feed highlights friends, celebrities, and perfect strangers doing all sorts of amazing things. You will no doubt see a bunch of great outfits, fun parties, romantic gestures, amazing vacations photos, all of which may look infinitely better than what you have going on today. 

How do you not feel bad about your life when everybody else seems to be living fuller, brighter, happier, more amazing lives than you? 

I want you to think about these three things: 

1. What you are seeing on social media is a curated glimpse of somebody’s life. It is what they want you to see. It’s quite possibly edited, filtered, and most definitely has a spin they are wanting to present on it!
   
   While it is part of their lives, it is not the whole picture! Most people are not showing their bad days 🌧️, their meltdowns, revealing their stress or anxiety . While we all crave authenticity, it is hard to put it all out there for others to see. It is much easier to highlight our good days.
   
   I know there are plenty of days when I am absolutely not going to post a picture of myself. Or have you ever taken a picture of something in your home, intending to post it, only after shoving a bunch of stuff out of the frame of the photo? Guilty here! I am showing you the scene as I want you to see it, not as it truly is. 
   
   So, keep in mind while scrolling, you are seeing somebody’s ✨“highlight reel”! This is what they want you to see. Do not compare your every day to somebody else’s best day, especially if you are coming away feeling bad about yourself.

2. If constantly viewing and comparing somebody else’s life on social media IS making you feel bad about yourself, you have my permission to stop following them! Instead, find people to follow that inspire you. (Reach out if you need suggestions! I have a great social media feed.)

3. If you simply must compare your life to others, and let’s face it, even though we know it is best not to, most of us cannot help ourselves, then use that comparison for good!

What I mean by this is, do not compare yourself to somebody that makes you feel bad about yourself or your life. Instead find somebody you admire (not those you are envious of), somebody who is leading a life you would like to emulate, and compare your life to theirs.

Make a list of the qualities you admire in them. What are they doing that is contributing to their success or happiness? Not sure what those things are? Reach out and ask to take them to coffee. You will hopefully be able to ascertain what they are doing differently than you. You now have something concrete and beneficial to compare yourself to, not what you perceive from their curated social media profiles.

✨Use this information as motivation to make some positive changes in your life. This form of comparison will not steal your joy, but rather will motivate and encourage you to grow 🌻 and improve yourself and your life.